![\"two](\"https:\/\/stanbutterfield.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/12\/kids-fighting-1024x683.jpg\")
<\/figure>\n\n\n\nWhy do heirs fight over an estate?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
It has also been my experience that most of these fights are not over the bigger monetary parts of a probate estate. By this I mean, that the heirs are more likely to fight over who gets Mom\u2019s ring or Dad\u2019s shotgun than the way the $300,000.00 bank account is being divided. My guess is that this is because of an emotional attachment to the items. I think in the minds\u2019 of these heirs are thoughts similar to, \u201cMom wanted me to have that as an expression of her special love for me\u201d or \u201cI want that as a special reminder to me of the good times I had with Dad.\u201d Unfortunately, I have seen kids that previously have gotten along famously, not speaking to each other after a division of personal property that did not go as everyone had hoped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
How do I keep my heirs from fighting?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
The best thing to do along these lines is to find out ahead of time if there are things that children have a special interest in owning. Then make a decision as to who will get those items. Make it clear to everyone involved, either through your will or by some other means what you want to have happen with your personal items. So, ask your kids what they want, and then make it clear what you have decided. This at least prevents children from harboring unkind thoughts towards a sibling who ended up with an item that another child thought<\/em> was something you really wanted them<\/em> to have.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There are also those families that a parent knows from the get-go are likely to fight over their estate. This can be because none of the children have ever gotten along or there may be one child that is always a source of contention. Parents, as part of their estate planning, in this instance can choose to include a \u201cno contest\u201d clause in their will. Such a clause says in essence, \u201cIf you try to argue in court about the way I have written my will or how I decided to give things away, then you will lose your share of anything left to you in the will.\u201d This generally will keep a contentious child from fighting things in court and helps preserve more of the estate for the surviving heirs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Such \u201cno contest\u201d clauses have been around for centuries and in Latin are called \u201cIn Terrorem\u201d clauses, because they are supposed to scare the would-be troublemaker. Recently, while doing some legal research, I came across one of these clauses written in an old English will from a few hundred years ago; it made me laugh. This Dad clearly wanted to scare the hell out of anyone that even thought about going against his wishes. It read:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHe that bereaves my will, which by God\u2019s permission I have now made, let him be bereaved of these earthly joys; and may the Almighty Lord \u2013 cut him off from all holy men\u2019s communion in Doomsday; and be he delivered to Satan, the Devil and all his cursed companions to hell\u2019s bottom, and there be tortured, with those whom God has cast off or forsaken, without intermission, and never trouble my heirs.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n In modern times, estate planning attorneys, like me, do not resort to threats extending to the after life, but these no contest clauses are a handy tool we have at our disposal to help you. In your planning you may want to let your attorney know that you believe such a clause might be needed for your family.<\/p>\n\n\n\nHow your will is written can prevent fights.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n